Life In Prison

Looking Back

Looking back I can see that I have met the right people, at exactly the right time in my life. My friend Rhonda Pendleton is one of those people. I knew that when we met that our bond was spiritual, that we were sisters, and that we would always be connected. A while back I told Chad that I was sure I new him before I came to earth. I said, “I’ll bet up in heaven you said, ‘Look Porsche, your going to make some big mistakes down there; but don’t worry I’m going to find you, and I will be there every step of the way. You might be a little bit crazy sometimes, but I know you will be an amazing person in the end, and I will have your back. I’ll be the guy with the blue eyes, so watch for me, and when you see me just fall in love with me, and I will take care of the rest.'”  He laughed, and said: “That doesn’t sound like me at all.”  Come on Chad, just let me dream 🙂

My boss at Dublin was another one of those people that made a big difference in my life. She probably didn’t know how scared I was when I got to Dublin, or maybe she did know and that’s why she was so kind to me? Either way, she helped me a lot. I had some serious trauma issues to walk through, and I don’t think I could have done it without her.  Ms. Swartz taught me that you don’t have to solve peoples’ problems, just listening without judgment can be the best way to help someone. I was broken hearted when I got transferred from Dublin to Waseca. But coming here was exactly what I needed. I met with a counselor recently who told me that I’ve changed a lot since my arrival. Looking back now I can see that coming to this prison is exactly what I needed.

My room mate Sonia is probably the person I’ve gotten closest to on this journey. Sonia has a calming influence, and we have become best friends:)  Recently I learned that I’m going to be transferred to another unit here to start the RDAP program. RDAP is a drug treatment program, and completing it will give me a year and a half off my sentence. I’m excited that I’m getting closer to going home, but leaving Sonia has been heartbreaking. Yesterday I walked around the track and said a prayer.  “Heavenly Father, today is hard for me; I’m leaving my friend, and it hurts my heart. Will you please take care of her?  I would like to be at home in the temple today, but I can’t get there, so I’m going to need some help. Maybe you could bring the temple to me?” When I came into the unit and checked my email Chad had sent me a message that said: “I went to the temple this morning, and put your name and Sonia’s name on the prayer roll. I pray for your safety constantly Portia; I love you, and know we have so much good to look forward to.” God is in the details of our lives, we are His children, and He won’t leave us without comfort. I don’t think life always makes sense looking forward, I think we have to look backward to connect the dots. But what an incredible journey! I am so grateful for the people I’ve met along the way, and I thank you all for following along:)

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